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School's In
We flash back to the beginning of Derek's high school experience. Characters #Derek #Samuel #Kaleb #Olivia Transcript (The episode opens with Derek walking to high school with his friends Kaleb and Samuel.) Derek: I fucking hate going back to school. It fucking sucks. Samuel: Fuckin' seriously. I'm really fuckin' tired. Kaleb: My fuckin' dad woke me up at 6-fucking-o' clock. Derek: Fuckin' hell, that sounds awful. Kaleb: It fuckin' was. (They walk through the entrance, held open by a random girl.) Derek: Thanks. Olivia: No problem. (They continue walking.) Samuel: ...Did you see the rack on that girl? Kaleb: It wasn't that big. (Kaleb looks back at Olivia's rack.) Kaleb: Okay, it was. Derek: Speaking of racks, what would be your guy's perfect woman? Samuel: Hmm...Big waist, green eyes, short hair, normal boobs, big butt. Kaleb: What he said. Except replace big waist with thin waist. Derek: I want someone like that girl who held the door open for us. Samuel: So all boob? (They laugh.) Derek: Nah, someone who's...willing to help out. You know, motherly-types. Kaleb: I don't think you're gonna find a girl that mature in high school, bro. Samuel: Hey, you never know. We're only freshmen. Derek: And that girl looked like she was only around 15. That's my age! Samuel: So you're saying you think you have a chance with that door-holder girl? Derek: Probably. I mean, I got really good looks, a strong physique so people who try to hit on her have no chance of getting her... Samuel (quietly to Kaleb): and a millimeter peter... Derek: Hey! (Olivia taps on Derek's shoulder.) Derek: Oh, hey. Olivia: I heard you talking about me. Derek: ...Yeah? Olivia: ...What's going on? You think you have a chance with me? Derek: Well, everyone has a chance if they're brave enough to take it. Olivia: Hm. Wise words. How about this. (She takes out a small slip of paper, and starts writing her phone number on it.) Olivia: Sit next me at lunch. After school, call me. Kay? Derek: Alright. Olivia: Cool. See you at lunch. (She walks away as the guys huddle back together and start walking to class.) Samuel: It was that easy?! Kaleb: Holy shit! Dude, what if she's a slut, though? Samuel: Yeah, girls who give out their numbers after only a few sentences are total whores! Derek: HEY! (They look at Derek.) Derek: You don't get to call her a whore! Samuel: Wait, you're already defending her? Dude, she could have a million STD's! Derek: Oh, shut up. You never even talk to girls, so how would you know? Samuel: I wait for the chicks to come to me. Derek: That never works. Ever. Kaleb: Dude, I could flex my muscles once, and I would be knee-deep in poon. Derek: Alright, try it. Kaleb: Watch this, loser. (He flexes his muscles. Tons of girls flock to him.) Kaleb: See? (A pair of panties flies on top of his head.) Kaleb: Thank you, you're too kind. Derek: Whatever. (Derek and Samuel walk off.) Samuel: Look, all I'm saying is that when you have sex, be sure to wear two condoms at once. Derek: Is that all you care about?! Is it just sex, sex, sex with you? Do you think that women are just vaginas ready to be penetrated whenever the time arises? Samuel: No! I'm just sayin'! You know! Derek: *sigh* Yeah, I know. Samuel: Dude, I wish the best of luck with you and that girl. Derek: Olivia. Samuel: Right. Wait, how do you know? Derek: She wrote it down on this piece of paper. Samuel: Oh, okay. Anyway, just be cautious. I just felt a weird vibe coming from her. Derek: She did seem a little mysterious. Like she was hiding something. Samuel: We'll have to figure that out later. It's time for class. Derek: Oh yeah, right. (Derek walks to class, glancing over to a door, he sees Olivia sitting in AP Calculus. She looks at him, and he looks away, heading into Algebra.) Category:Episodes